Dear pigpen,
Saw a Delaware license plate that said Kaboom yesterday. Pretty cool. Thought of you and mixed feelings came to mind. Ont eh one hand you are a jewwy friend who takes my clothing. On the other hand you are a delta sky miles member who grants me with guest privileges and early morning bloody mary's.
We can live in the past and reflect upon all of our experiences with smatches but why waste our time right? Fuck that noise. Lets turn our attention to another flamboyantly gay Fairfield alum.. Hurb Grover
Fun Facts about Hurb Grover
1) Enjoys talking about himself in the third person
2) Enjoys talking about non consensual sex with women in the third person
3) Enjoys talking about his self proclaimed nicknames / shitty breakfasts in the third person
I should stop making fun of him now though. I think he is one of the like seven people that read this blog. So for all of you who made it this far, exciting shit going on in Stamford. On Monday a drunk homeless man wandered into our office with a sixteenth of a bottle of majorska. He became combative, and we had to use brute force to get em into the elevator. It was pretty wild and required police activity.
While the suspect would not state his name, forensics tests on the jerry curl proved it was actually araina. She was deported back to Willy wonka's chocolate factory after a brief stay in Uncle Mitches stamford shag pad
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Internet Checkers
today i played a game of Microsoft internet checkers. I would have to say that like the second or third thing I did when I first got a computer was check out the games section. While checkers wasnt on Windows 95, it is on all subsequent editions. Aside from the increased adult entertainment options brought to us by a computer, we have these fuckin cool little games that maybe one day these 2000's little porkers will play with an actual set of cards.
anyway point here in internet checkers was on cutting edge of technology. click on it and instantly your playing checkers with a guy from the other side of the world. Today, my game consisted of me vs an arabic individual... fucking making world peace with this shit.
now another crazy ass concept is internet checkers doesnt have a full chat feature. It only has like a dozen or so different pre determined phrases that you can use, plus a happy and sad face. this eliminated the dangers of people who get visited by Chris Hanson other than the graduating class of Fairfield University 2010.
On this subject, how the fuck does Chris Hanson make any sense. This is Fairfield's like last ditch effort to really drill home that do as we say not as we do thing (as in, be a good jesuit but dont play with the altar boys). So yea, maybe in that respect it makes sense, but still,there could have been some other people to bring in who could have brought more to the table there. Personally, I would have loved to see a Jaude Claud Van Dam appearance there instead. I mean, guy fucking won Bloodsport. Def beat the fuck out of Chris Hanson.
anyway point here in internet checkers was on cutting edge of technology. click on it and instantly your playing checkers with a guy from the other side of the world. Today, my game consisted of me vs an arabic individual... fucking making world peace with this shit.
now another crazy ass concept is internet checkers doesnt have a full chat feature. It only has like a dozen or so different pre determined phrases that you can use, plus a happy and sad face. this eliminated the dangers of people who get visited by Chris Hanson other than the graduating class of Fairfield University 2010.
On this subject, how the fuck does Chris Hanson make any sense. This is Fairfield's like last ditch effort to really drill home that do as we say not as we do thing (as in, be a good jesuit but dont play with the altar boys). So yea, maybe in that respect it makes sense, but still,there could have been some other people to bring in who could have brought more to the table there. Personally, I would have loved to see a Jaude Claud Van Dam appearance there instead. I mean, guy fucking won Bloodsport. Def beat the fuck out of Chris Hanson.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Filtyness
Good afternoon ladies and gentleman. Sorry for the slight delay in my blog. I am so fucking busy sometimes it crazy. Mad people be hittin me up being like yo you coming here or yo you doing this. By nah man.. i do it all for the kids like Trick Daddy
So today's blog is not going to be a rhyme that sounded like somone on mushrooms wrote it. Rather, today's blog is going to be about the downfall of mid-season all star events.
Lets run down all the major sports and stupid Nascar. Nascar is dumb and if you like it there is a good chance you also like your cousin too much. If you like hockey then your either James Colline or Canadian, or Johnny Pizzas but he likes anything as long as there is BBQ sauce on it or tiesto playing in the background.
The pro bowl is a joke. I mean how can you have a sport built on intensity and violence and then tell players to go play a game but not take it that seriously. You really think that those sumo wrestler sized lineman enjoy being in Hawaii sweating out enough water to quench the thirst of Ghana? No. So yea I dont know where I was going with that but the pro bowl is stupid.
The home run derby is stupid. While we are there, fucking Chris Berman is a spokesperson for Nutrisystem. Lets transtion here because this is going to get fun. Top five dumbest (fictitious) endorsement ideas
1) Steve Tufo - Big and Tall Shops
2) Brendan O'Malley - Any sort of mens retail clothing or personal hygene company
3) Phil Spada - Anything except the special Olympics
4) Charlie Grover - Shell Gasoline
5) Mike Gorman - The Squat Rack
6) Billy PR - P90X
So yea home run derby sucks. It was better when everyone was all juiced up and just beating teh fuck out of the baseball. Now guys like Jamie Moyer are still getting people out. I mean.. Im pretty sure Jerry Schneider's GPA is higher than Moyer's top speed.
Yea well I have to go prep for a meeting but this one is gonna be cut short. Ill check in later around 4 ish.. ill drop some more knowledge on ya then hurb
So today's blog is not going to be a rhyme that sounded like somone on mushrooms wrote it. Rather, today's blog is going to be about the downfall of mid-season all star events.
Lets run down all the major sports and stupid Nascar. Nascar is dumb and if you like it there is a good chance you also like your cousin too much. If you like hockey then your either James Colline or Canadian, or Johnny Pizzas but he likes anything as long as there is BBQ sauce on it or tiesto playing in the background.
The pro bowl is a joke. I mean how can you have a sport built on intensity and violence and then tell players to go play a game but not take it that seriously. You really think that those sumo wrestler sized lineman enjoy being in Hawaii sweating out enough water to quench the thirst of Ghana? No. So yea I dont know where I was going with that but the pro bowl is stupid.
The home run derby is stupid. While we are there, fucking Chris Berman is a spokesperson for Nutrisystem. Lets transtion here because this is going to get fun. Top five dumbest (fictitious) endorsement ideas
1) Steve Tufo - Big and Tall Shops
2) Brendan O'Malley - Any sort of mens retail clothing or personal hygene company
3) Phil Spada - Anything except the special Olympics
4) Charlie Grover - Shell Gasoline
5) Mike Gorman - The Squat Rack
6) Billy PR - P90X
So yea home run derby sucks. It was better when everyone was all juiced up and just beating teh fuck out of the baseball. Now guys like Jamie Moyer are still getting people out. I mean.. Im pretty sure Jerry Schneider's GPA is higher than Moyer's top speed.
Yea well I have to go prep for a meeting but this one is gonna be cut short. Ill check in later around 4 ish.. ill drop some more knowledge on ya then hurb
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Ode to the Keurig Coffee Man and other Awesome Inventions
Tired and sleepy in search of energy
where do I go, to the energy tree
I dont have one of those by me
My eyes are closing, this means I cant see
I walk down the floor, down the hall I mean
and i stumble upon Mr Keurig.. and his coffee machine
I ask Mr Keurig if he likes Charlie Scheen
He looks befuddled, wonders aloud "what do you mean"
He hands me a cup full of hot steamy Joe
THEN IM BACK LICKETY SPLIT.. HEY WHAT DO YOU KNOW
Mr Keurig.. I proclaimed in a real loud voice
the people of America.. they have a choice
they have a choice to vote, a choice to look and listen
they have a choice to step forth and emerge their kitchen
with fresh hot coffee and a croissant to spare
i say there is awesome shit...everywhere.
From the magic bullet to clap on lights
to etch a sketch, and the old Light Bright
To wireless internet
and cell phones that do anything
and plato and putty
and even pink silly string
there is awesome shit all around
just dont forget to look up and down
Crack
where do I go, to the energy tree
I dont have one of those by me
My eyes are closing, this means I cant see
I walk down the floor, down the hall I mean
and i stumble upon Mr Keurig.. and his coffee machine
I ask Mr Keurig if he likes Charlie Scheen
He looks befuddled, wonders aloud "what do you mean"
He hands me a cup full of hot steamy Joe
THEN IM BACK LICKETY SPLIT.. HEY WHAT DO YOU KNOW
Mr Keurig.. I proclaimed in a real loud voice
the people of America.. they have a choice
they have a choice to vote, a choice to look and listen
they have a choice to step forth and emerge their kitchen
with fresh hot coffee and a croissant to spare
i say there is awesome shit...everywhere.
From the magic bullet to clap on lights
to etch a sketch, and the old Light Bright
To wireless internet
and cell phones that do anything
and plato and putty
and even pink silly string
there is awesome shit all around
just dont forget to look up and down
Crack
Friday, July 2, 2010
Hurby K
Good afternoon Hurbs and Hurbettes. This blog is dedicated to Hurby K,.
Last night I decided to go to alive at 5 after work. Hurby K ended up meeting up with me for one drink. One vodka tonic and one jack and coke turned to 8 and soon we were making friends with everyone and urinating in public garages, seeing whose stream would roll further down the pitched ramp.
Continuing along on our night, we bounced from bobby v's to blackbear and back while listening to old 90's bands. Having a very good night, we decided it would be best to meet up with some friends, and spend the night in Stamford. Hurby K made a pretty good arguement about staying local so I agreed. then we had to go and move her little hurby car from the lot. On the way we stopped for a beer and in her words "tonight is going to get sloppy"...
Because it is almost one and i am leaving work i am going to stop here. I might continue on Tuesday, but probably not. Moral of the story is dont trust her alone in Stamford... she thinks with the wrong half of her body.
Crack
Last night I decided to go to alive at 5 after work. Hurby K ended up meeting up with me for one drink. One vodka tonic and one jack and coke turned to 8 and soon we were making friends with everyone and urinating in public garages, seeing whose stream would roll further down the pitched ramp.
Continuing along on our night, we bounced from bobby v's to blackbear and back while listening to old 90's bands. Having a very good night, we decided it would be best to meet up with some friends, and spend the night in Stamford. Hurby K made a pretty good arguement about staying local so I agreed. then we had to go and move her little hurby car from the lot. On the way we stopped for a beer and in her words "tonight is going to get sloppy"...
Because it is almost one and i am leaving work i am going to stop here. I might continue on Tuesday, but probably not. Moral of the story is dont trust her alone in Stamford... she thinks with the wrong half of her body.
Crack
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Shit that Bothers Me
So today i am going to write my blog about shit that bothers me. If you are one of the six or seven people that read this, dont do any of these things around me because it bothers me
1) If you have a blackberry and I have blackberry dont fucking text me. Hate that shit
2) When you open a cheese single while **** and you accidentally east the plastic wrapping (happens more on white than yellow)
3) the Keurig machine makes the coffee too hot
4) People who insist on breaking when the light is green
5)Ariana Michaloutsos
6) When I put my pants on and they dont fit
7) If you send an email with a read receipt, and someone reads it and doesnt answer.
8) Not having meatloaf on Tuesdays
9) Having to get up an pee in the middle of the night
10) My boss
11) Slow internet connections that obstruct "me time"
12) Shitting in the office and walking out and having someone else or boss in there
13) People who lift with improper form
14) Spilling coffee on my shirt first thing in the morning.
15) People who respond to stories with either "really" "no way" or "you've got to be kidding me" but mean it and actually like want an explanation.
16) People who say "what" pause, and then respond to you.
17) Being behind a slow walker
18) People in Stamford who smoke a black and mild at a restaurants.. like come on
19) jajajaja instead of hahahaha
20) Bananas with brown spots
21) spinach
22) The fact that no one actually reads this
1) If you have a blackberry and I have blackberry dont fucking text me. Hate that shit
2) When you open a cheese single while **** and you accidentally east the plastic wrapping (happens more on white than yellow)
3) the Keurig machine makes the coffee too hot
4) People who insist on breaking when the light is green
5)Ariana Michaloutsos
6) When I put my pants on and they dont fit
7) If you send an email with a read receipt, and someone reads it and doesnt answer.
8) Not having meatloaf on Tuesdays
9) Having to get up an pee in the middle of the night
10) My boss
11) Slow internet connections that obstruct "me time"
12) Shitting in the office and walking out and having someone else or boss in there
13) People who lift with improper form
14) Spilling coffee on my shirt first thing in the morning.
15) People who respond to stories with either "really" "no way" or "you've got to be kidding me" but mean it and actually like want an explanation.
16) People who say "what" pause, and then respond to you.
17) Being behind a slow walker
18) People in Stamford who smoke a black and mild at a restaurants.. like come on
19) jajajaja instead of hahahaha
20) Bananas with brown spots
21) spinach
22) The fact that no one actually reads this
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