Monday, October 4, 2010

SIM Graduation

COO John Stroili is graduating his SIM class today in Atlanta. SIM is a national CIO conference that brings together IT executives from all across the country to discuss pertinent industry issues.

The class features many activities designed at improving the attendees as functioning business people, as well as tackling issues that are facing multiple participants on a daily basis.

Congratulations John!

Friday, August 20, 2010

An Ode To Larry Goober

"They call me big meech"
"Larry Goober"
"Eatin Lunch"
"Not eatin tuna"
"One Sandwich"
"One spread"
"Taste Real Good"
"With some Wonder Bread"

Coming from a kid who always need husky sized pants in grammar school Goober was the shit. Pictured above if I did this correctly, this jar plus one spoon plus 4:30 power ranger time after school and I was set man. Kids fucking riding their bikes to the park and shit,, nah i dont need um. I just would post up with goober and go num nums till mom came and said i was going to spoil my appetite, which at the time was ver unlikely to happen.

So its been sometime since my last blog and I do sincerely apologize. Like the Gremlin's jerry curl, i feel that this blog is something that grows on you after sometime of seeing it in action. Like a flower blossoming in the early morning, or Hurb Grover suckling the morning dew after he wakes up after a night of ambien and nyquil.

So spent last weekend DTS and let me declare that there is no better vacation spot int the world. Alot of fairfield hurbs and hurbettes talk up the boogy hamptons as the spot to be, but i disagree yessiree. DTS has it all. Great food, scantily dressed women, boardwalks, clubs, bars, and fried cheese balls.

Anyway have to do some work work now so ill check back in with ya later.

And no one talk to Mike Gorman today. He is soooooo hungover

Monday, August 9, 2010


This blog is being written not from my office but from the back porch in Mantoloking. Sorry for all you burbs who have to read this from your cubicle, or playpen if your Kutz.

So real pissed off at ESPN this week. Between the bogus farve coverage, and the fact that they are suckling from the LBJ power teet and refuse to print anything negative about him.

Had a near death experience yhesterday. Seriously I was out pretty far swimming in the ocean and almsot didnt get back in. I was getting tired treading water, and almost didnt make it in. Thankfully the crackman is partially amphibeous. I can swim like a goddam barracuda and was abke to bring myself to shore, huffing and puffing the whole way.

brought my girlfirend to work on Friday. Got to see the place of work for the crack man and my cheetos stash in the supply slash snack closet.

bout to go on a bike ride down 35. Like I said... DTS NDB!!!

Get some crackaas

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Looks Like Someone's Got a Case of the Tuesdays

Good morning loyal followers and such. So todays blog is going to encapsulate a few things ranging from my Friday night in NYC with a confederate, a few fairfield floozies, one cart food man who had me tempted to pick meat up off of the sidewalk and shovel it in, a near death nascar turn, a sick new sport i invented, a three course meal, and an analysis of generation y. It will be broken down into two, possibly three parts. I would suggest setting aside at least ten minutes to read this one, and then maybe a good three or four hours to comprehend the information actually stated.

7.30 - Part I
Bo mal arrives at my house approximately seven o clock, attempts to return dirty sweatpants he stole, puts on his farmer shirt, and away we go. First stop train station bar. An out of character and most likely disoriented bo mal actually pays for the more expensive shot while i sloothly pick up the tab for the two beers. Just to put this in prospective, you have a better chance at getting a 20% tip from an Anne Frank descendant than you do at Bo mal flashin the green at the bar. But thats neither here nor there.

While the much talked about but never fully understood "OB" group was underrepresented in NYC (individuals going down the shore, Grover resorting to communion money, Tieds continuing to live on fantasy island and Neville doing what ever it is that they do behind the cloaks and large beards) flashes of greatness occurred. Team buckets was spotted with a substantial group of JPurbs (JP Morgan Hurbs**) at the Frying Pan, and accompanied bo and I down to the meat packing district. (The gay joke here is below me.. but fuck you anyway Spadawitz. Im gonna bank on you not even seeing this because your too simple.) After a few rounds, some nice surprise faces inside the bars, and some all natural American spirit ciggarettes my mind had reached the point of no return. I couldnt keep up with the constant stream of Fairfield faces, and made the executive decision to catch the 1:35 train, pulling bo away from a potential lay that he had as much of a chance at closing as I do being a fucking foot model.

Too make a long story short, got the cart food which attracted little one like a nat at a barbeque, dropped most of it, and missed the train at penn by about 5 minutes. Proceeded to get in a cab and drive up and down I-95 like we were filming an Indian, Southern, and CrACkdenish version of the Sopranos. This made me very upset. I voiced my displeasure with my cab driver but was able to avoid any racial slurs that could have led to a phone call to Nevill's cousin that would have had us both face down in the meadowlands. This wouldnt have happened had we been able to get a ride in a limo with a benicio del toro look alike. Forgot who told me that story but dont worry girl who im refering to.. female classiness and standards are a think of the past right?

To be continued...

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

A Day Late and a Dollar Short - A blog dedicated partially to Patches O'Rourke

Dear pigpen,

Saw a Delaware license plate that said Kaboom yesterday. Pretty cool. Thought of you and mixed feelings came to mind. Ont eh one hand you are a jewwy friend who takes my clothing. On the other hand you are a delta sky miles member who grants me with guest privileges and early morning bloody mary's.

We can live in the past and reflect upon all of our experiences with smatches but why waste our time right? Fuck that noise. Lets turn our attention to another flamboyantly gay Fairfield alum.. Hurb Grover

Fun Facts about Hurb Grover
1) Enjoys talking about himself in the third person
2) Enjoys talking about non consensual sex with women in the third person
3) Enjoys talking about his self proclaimed nicknames / shitty breakfasts in the third person

I should stop making fun of him now though. I think he is one of the like seven people that read this blog. So for all of you who made it this far, exciting shit going on in Stamford. On Monday a drunk homeless man wandered into our office with a sixteenth of a bottle of majorska. He became combative, and we had to use brute force to get em into the elevator. It was pretty wild and required police activity.

While the suspect would not state his name, forensics tests on the jerry curl proved it was actually araina. She was deported back to Willy wonka's chocolate factory after a brief stay in Uncle Mitches stamford shag pad

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Internet Checkers

today i played a game of Microsoft internet checkers. I would have to say that like the second or third thing I did when I first got a computer was check out the games section. While checkers wasnt on Windows 95, it is on all subsequent editions. Aside from the increased adult entertainment options brought to us by a computer, we have these fuckin cool little games that maybe one day these 2000's little porkers will play with an actual set of cards.

anyway point here in internet checkers was on cutting edge of technology. click on it and instantly your playing checkers with a guy from the other side of the world. Today, my game consisted of me vs an arabic individual... fucking making world peace with this shit.

now another crazy ass concept is internet checkers doesnt have a full chat feature. It only has like a dozen or so different pre determined phrases that you can use, plus a happy and sad face. this eliminated the dangers of people who get visited by Chris Hanson other than the graduating class of Fairfield University 2010.

On this subject, how the fuck does Chris Hanson make any sense. This is Fairfield's like last ditch effort to really drill home that do as we say not as we do thing (as in, be a good jesuit but dont play with the altar boys). So yea, maybe in that respect it makes sense, but still,there could have been some other people to bring in who could have brought more to the table there. Personally, I would have loved to see a Jaude Claud Van Dam appearance there instead. I mean, guy fucking won Bloodsport. Def beat the fuck out of Chris Hanson.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


Good afternoon ladies and gentleman. Sorry for the slight delay in my blog. I am so fucking busy sometimes it crazy. Mad people be hittin me up being like yo you coming here or yo you doing this. By nah man.. i do it all for the kids like Trick Daddy

So today's blog is not going to be a rhyme that sounded like somone on mushrooms wrote it. Rather, today's blog is going to be about the downfall of mid-season all star events.

Lets run down all the major sports and stupid Nascar. Nascar is dumb and if you like it there is a good chance you also like your cousin too much. If you like hockey then your either James Colline or Canadian, or Johnny Pizzas but he likes anything as long as there is BBQ sauce on it or tiesto playing in the background.

The pro bowl is a joke. I mean how can you have a sport built on intensity and violence and then tell players to go play a game but not take it that seriously. You really think that those sumo wrestler sized lineman enjoy being in Hawaii sweating out enough water to quench the thirst of Ghana? No. So yea I dont know where I was going with that but the pro bowl is stupid.

The home run derby is stupid. While we are there, fucking Chris Berman is a spokesperson for Nutrisystem. Lets transtion here because this is going to get fun. Top five dumbest (fictitious) endorsement ideas

1) Steve Tufo - Big and Tall Shops
2) Brendan O'Malley - Any sort of mens retail clothing or personal hygene company
3) Phil Spada - Anything except the special Olympics
4) Charlie Grover - Shell Gasoline
5) Mike Gorman - The Squat Rack
6) Billy PR - P90X

So yea home run derby sucks. It was better when everyone was all juiced up and just beating teh fuck out of the baseball. Now guys like Jamie Moyer are still getting people out. I mean.. Im pretty sure Jerry Schneider's GPA is higher than Moyer's top speed.

Yea well I have to go prep for a meeting but this one is gonna be cut short. Ill check in later around 4 ish.. ill drop some more knowledge on ya then hurb