Good afternoon ladies and gentleman. Sorry for the slight delay in my blog. I am so fucking busy sometimes it crazy. Mad people be hittin me up being like yo you coming here or yo you doing this. By nah man.. i do it all for the kids like Trick Daddy
So today's blog is not going to be a rhyme that sounded like somone on mushrooms wrote it. Rather, today's blog is going to be about the downfall of mid-season all star events.
Lets run down all the major sports and stupid Nascar. Nascar is dumb and if you like it there is a good chance you also like your cousin too much. If you like hockey then your either James Colline or Canadian, or Johnny Pizzas but he likes anything as long as there is BBQ sauce on it or tiesto playing in the background.
The pro bowl is a joke. I mean how can you have a sport built on intensity and violence and then tell players to go play a game but not take it that seriously. You really think that those sumo wrestler sized lineman enjoy being in Hawaii sweating out enough water to quench the thirst of Ghana? No. So yea I dont know where I was going with that but the pro bowl is stupid.
The home run derby is stupid. While we are there, fucking Chris Berman is a spokesperson for Nutrisystem. Lets transtion here because this is going to get fun. Top five dumbest (fictitious) endorsement ideas
1) Steve Tufo - Big and Tall Shops
2) Brendan O'Malley - Any sort of mens retail clothing or personal hygene company
3) Phil Spada - Anything except the special Olympics
4) Charlie Grover - Shell Gasoline
5) Mike Gorman - The Squat Rack
6) Billy PR - P90X
So yea home run derby sucks. It was better when everyone was all juiced up and just beating teh fuck out of the baseball. Now guys like Jamie Moyer are still getting people out. I mean.. Im pretty sure Jerry Schneider's GPA is higher than Moyer's top speed.
Yea well I have to go prep for a meeting but this one is gonna be cut short. Ill check in later around 4 ish.. ill drop some more knowledge on ya then hurb
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Ode to the Keurig Coffee Man and other Awesome Inventions
Tired and sleepy in search of energy
where do I go, to the energy tree
I dont have one of those by me
My eyes are closing, this means I cant see
I walk down the floor, down the hall I mean
and i stumble upon Mr Keurig.. and his coffee machine
I ask Mr Keurig if he likes Charlie Scheen
He looks befuddled, wonders aloud "what do you mean"
He hands me a cup full of hot steamy Joe
THEN IM BACK LICKETY SPLIT.. HEY WHAT DO YOU KNOW
Mr Keurig.. I proclaimed in a real loud voice
the people of America.. they have a choice
they have a choice to vote, a choice to look and listen
they have a choice to step forth and emerge their kitchen
with fresh hot coffee and a croissant to spare
i say there is awesome shit...everywhere.
From the magic bullet to clap on lights
to etch a sketch, and the old Light Bright
To wireless internet
and cell phones that do anything
and plato and putty
and even pink silly string
there is awesome shit all around
just dont forget to look up and down
Crack
where do I go, to the energy tree
I dont have one of those by me
My eyes are closing, this means I cant see
I walk down the floor, down the hall I mean
and i stumble upon Mr Keurig.. and his coffee machine
I ask Mr Keurig if he likes Charlie Scheen
He looks befuddled, wonders aloud "what do you mean"
He hands me a cup full of hot steamy Joe
THEN IM BACK LICKETY SPLIT.. HEY WHAT DO YOU KNOW
Mr Keurig.. I proclaimed in a real loud voice
the people of America.. they have a choice
they have a choice to vote, a choice to look and listen
they have a choice to step forth and emerge their kitchen
with fresh hot coffee and a croissant to spare
i say there is awesome shit...everywhere.
From the magic bullet to clap on lights
to etch a sketch, and the old Light Bright
To wireless internet
and cell phones that do anything
and plato and putty
and even pink silly string
there is awesome shit all around
just dont forget to look up and down
Crack
Friday, July 2, 2010
Hurby K
Good afternoon Hurbs and Hurbettes. This blog is dedicated to Hurby K,.
Last night I decided to go to alive at 5 after work. Hurby K ended up meeting up with me for one drink. One vodka tonic and one jack and coke turned to 8 and soon we were making friends with everyone and urinating in public garages, seeing whose stream would roll further down the pitched ramp.
Continuing along on our night, we bounced from bobby v's to blackbear and back while listening to old 90's bands. Having a very good night, we decided it would be best to meet up with some friends, and spend the night in Stamford. Hurby K made a pretty good arguement about staying local so I agreed. then we had to go and move her little hurby car from the lot. On the way we stopped for a beer and in her words "tonight is going to get sloppy"...
Because it is almost one and i am leaving work i am going to stop here. I might continue on Tuesday, but probably not. Moral of the story is dont trust her alone in Stamford... she thinks with the wrong half of her body.
Crack
Last night I decided to go to alive at 5 after work. Hurby K ended up meeting up with me for one drink. One vodka tonic and one jack and coke turned to 8 and soon we were making friends with everyone and urinating in public garages, seeing whose stream would roll further down the pitched ramp.
Continuing along on our night, we bounced from bobby v's to blackbear and back while listening to old 90's bands. Having a very good night, we decided it would be best to meet up with some friends, and spend the night in Stamford. Hurby K made a pretty good arguement about staying local so I agreed. then we had to go and move her little hurby car from the lot. On the way we stopped for a beer and in her words "tonight is going to get sloppy"...
Because it is almost one and i am leaving work i am going to stop here. I might continue on Tuesday, but probably not. Moral of the story is dont trust her alone in Stamford... she thinks with the wrong half of her body.
Crack
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Shit that Bothers Me
So today i am going to write my blog about shit that bothers me. If you are one of the six or seven people that read this, dont do any of these things around me because it bothers me
1) If you have a blackberry and I have blackberry dont fucking text me. Hate that shit
2) When you open a cheese single while **** and you accidentally east the plastic wrapping (happens more on white than yellow)
3) the Keurig machine makes the coffee too hot
4) People who insist on breaking when the light is green
5)Ariana Michaloutsos
6) When I put my pants on and they dont fit
7) If you send an email with a read receipt, and someone reads it and doesnt answer.
8) Not having meatloaf on Tuesdays
9) Having to get up an pee in the middle of the night
10) My boss
11) Slow internet connections that obstruct "me time"
12) Shitting in the office and walking out and having someone else or boss in there
13) People who lift with improper form
14) Spilling coffee on my shirt first thing in the morning.
15) People who respond to stories with either "really" "no way" or "you've got to be kidding me" but mean it and actually like want an explanation.
16) People who say "what" pause, and then respond to you.
17) Being behind a slow walker
18) People in Stamford who smoke a black and mild at a restaurants.. like come on
19) jajajaja instead of hahahaha
20) Bananas with brown spots
21) spinach
22) The fact that no one actually reads this
1) If you have a blackberry and I have blackberry dont fucking text me. Hate that shit
2) When you open a cheese single while **** and you accidentally east the plastic wrapping (happens more on white than yellow)
3) the Keurig machine makes the coffee too hot
4) People who insist on breaking when the light is green
5)Ariana Michaloutsos
6) When I put my pants on and they dont fit
7) If you send an email with a read receipt, and someone reads it and doesnt answer.
8) Not having meatloaf on Tuesdays
9) Having to get up an pee in the middle of the night
10) My boss
11) Slow internet connections that obstruct "me time"
12) Shitting in the office and walking out and having someone else or boss in there
13) People who lift with improper form
14) Spilling coffee on my shirt first thing in the morning.
15) People who respond to stories with either "really" "no way" or "you've got to be kidding me" but mean it and actually like want an explanation.
16) People who say "what" pause, and then respond to you.
17) Being behind a slow walker
18) People in Stamford who smoke a black and mild at a restaurants.. like come on
19) jajajaja instead of hahahaha
20) Bananas with brown spots
21) spinach
22) The fact that no one actually reads this
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Alive at Five
So today marks the first concert of the annual live at five summer series. I will be attending. Now for those of you who read this blog not named Kelly or Kim,this means shits gonna be fucking bananas. Im talking hotel bans, overturned tents, uprooted street signs, whole nine. Actually not really. I have matured as a young flourishing adult, and have every intention of staying under control throughout the event.
Anyway. so what the fuck else is up. Really long tennis match, Italy is out of the world cup, and I invented a new type of shitting int he office. I call it "Remove your S before you S". I believe it is much More comfortable to take your dress shit off before you sit down, especially when you have a tie. This eliminates the chance of any shirt and or tie to seat contact. I love office shits. I mean its like 15 minutes of uninterrupted you time.
O and props to the duuuds ballin out this morning. Gonna get real big errr Thursday morning with them, and bring my hibernating abdominal muscles to fruition in some time. gotta stop with those mid night eats though. I mean for no reason I got out of bed around 2 and had a plate of chocolate cake. I mean lloyd banks said get the cake ***** but not sure that's what he had in mind. Anyway time to go get bombed and piss off my girlfriend.
Stay thirsty friends.
Crack
Anyway. so what the fuck else is up. Really long tennis match, Italy is out of the world cup, and I invented a new type of shitting int he office. I call it "Remove your S before you S". I believe it is much More comfortable to take your dress shit off before you sit down, especially when you have a tie. This eliminates the chance of any shirt and or tie to seat contact. I love office shits. I mean its like 15 minutes of uninterrupted you time.
O and props to the duuuds ballin out this morning. Gonna get real big errr Thursday morning with them, and bring my hibernating abdominal muscles to fruition in some time. gotta stop with those mid night eats though. I mean for no reason I got out of bed around 2 and had a plate of chocolate cake. I mean lloyd banks said get the cake ***** but not sure that's what he had in mind. Anyway time to go get bombed and piss off my girlfriend.
Stay thirsty friends.
Crack
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Back in Blog
So after finding out that Kelly Mahon has a twitter account (the words fine and ugh dominate 98% of it) and impetus from her, I have decided to return to the blogging world. I been had blogs. I been had snacks. I've been bloggin since you kids were getting finger blasted at the Sadie Hawkins dance so just be ready for the things your gonna read here. Today my plan is to get big at the office, then get big and lift at lunch, then get big and eat an nice smoked ham and provolone sandwich.
Thats it for tdoay. Consider this an appetizer to wet your pallet for whats to come.
JC
Thats it for tdoay. Consider this an appetizer to wet your pallet for whats to come.
JC
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Come Network in Stamford!
A vital aspect to being a successful business is the relationship’s built between current clients, prospective clients, and people you meet day to day. You never know who you’re going to meet and any one person can open the door for you or for your business.
Building strong relationships is an excellent way to expand your professional circle, being that each person works in a different industry, allowing you access to various businesses.
In regards to professional relationships, it’s all about quality, not quantity.
Attending networking events is extremely important for employees. Tomorrow, I will be accompanying one of The TNS Group’s Account Managers to “Beyond The Recession”, a small business breakfast and networking opportunity. Joe Connolly, A WCBS / Wall Street Journal Reporter will hosting a panel discussion on how to grow and increase your sales after the economic downturn. Confirmed Panelists include, Wendy Caplan-Carroll, a Constant Contact New York, Joshua Crandall, the founder of Clever Commute on Metro North, David Lewis, President of Operations lnc. Human Resources Outsourcing and Consulting of Stamford, and Mitchell Grossinger Etess, the CEO of Mohegan Sun.
This networking breakfast begins at 7:30 am and ends at 10 am. I think the networking hour will be very beneficial for the attendees. It will give them time to meet other business owners and employees from the Stamford area, being that it‘s at the Stamford Hilton. Hopefully this event will create some opportunities for new clients in the Stamford area.
Stay tuned for feedback on the “Beyond The Recession” Networking Breakfast
Tara McKenna
Building strong relationships is an excellent way to expand your professional circle, being that each person works in a different industry, allowing you access to various businesses.
In regards to professional relationships, it’s all about quality, not quantity.
Attending networking events is extremely important for employees. Tomorrow, I will be accompanying one of The TNS Group’s Account Managers to “Beyond The Recession”, a small business breakfast and networking opportunity. Joe Connolly, A WCBS / Wall Street Journal Reporter will hosting a panel discussion on how to grow and increase your sales after the economic downturn. Confirmed Panelists include, Wendy Caplan-Carroll, a Constant Contact New York, Joshua Crandall, the founder of Clever Commute on Metro North, David Lewis, President of Operations lnc. Human Resources Outsourcing and Consulting of Stamford, and Mitchell Grossinger Etess, the CEO of Mohegan Sun.
This networking breakfast begins at 7:30 am and ends at 10 am. I think the networking hour will be very beneficial for the attendees. It will give them time to meet other business owners and employees from the Stamford area, being that it‘s at the Stamford Hilton. Hopefully this event will create some opportunities for new clients in the Stamford area.
Stay tuned for feedback on the “Beyond The Recession” Networking Breakfast
Tara McKenna
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